I am reminiscing on a life changing moment.
It all began when I stumbled across some video on YouTube, a couple of years ago while attending grad school. I watched it, and it peaked my curiosity–I’d been going through some existence issues.
The video covered a brief exposition of Jean-Paul Sartre’s thought. I was fascinated. Existentialist philosophy resonated with me.
I sought guidance from other philosophers on my college campus–mainly faculty familiar with the type of thought that I was interested in. A professor at my college suggested that I should read “The Myth of Sisyphus,” by Albert Camus. I read, and re-read it. I was hooked. I felt normal again, and had to learn more about the absurdist mentality.
–Suddenly, a question pops into my consciousness: What does the beginning of something great feel like?
As I ponder this question, I sit on a comfy seat in some shared work space facility in my city. The internet here is very fast, and the environment is fairly quiet. The room is peopled by others working or their own stuff. I sit in the table closest to the back of the room; I can oversee everyone in the room, and anyone that may enter the room. The air conditioning unit is in full swing. The So-Cal heat has begun.
But, back to the question: what does the beginning of something great feel like? I suppose we can only answer this question in retrospect, since feelings, I’ve learned, are not the best indicators of what ‘great’ is. Feelings are merely subjective, given by intuitions, and intuition depends on the sensibility of the mind.
What is ‘great’ though? To me, ‘great’ is that which I won’t know until I am on my death bed–if I am fortunate enough to have a one–while I ponder my last thoughts (unless I am brain dead). I am being a romantic.
Thoughts tend to carry me away when I write, and I begin to suspect that I am becoming incoherent.
Life is incoherent at times, so it’s okay.
Though, I think this blog is the beginning of something great.
Anyways, I am fairly new to writing; I am self-taught. I am not an English major, but I am a Mathematics major. I received a Masters in Math in 2015, and after working sometime in the teaching business, I decided to walk away from that profession–it wasn’t a good fit for me during the time.
I am currently focusing of amassing knowledge, writing, staying positive, and looking forward to the great opportunities which are abound. I still like math and appreciate it, but something happened along my graduate career that pushed me in a different direction.
Life was going good, objectively, but subjectively I was struggling to muster the energy to keep going–I became existential.
But, the past is the past, and now I am here. I have dreams of becoming a writer, and this blog will bring me a step closer.
Wish me the best! Thanks.