Don’t You Feel Like You Don’t Belong?

At the pond full of Koi, where the geese come to swim after the sun begins to set, where the turtles swim around with their tiny heads just above the water, and the ducks scurry around attempting to score a free meal, I laid resting with my back on a bed of pavement near the pond, under a canopy-like structure. There, near the spotlights, I spotted some spiders busy at work, weaving their webs. I laid there, listening to the distant streaming of water, observing the spiders, all the while, the Koi in the water observed me, hoping to land some food. I observed those spiders go round and round for some time, and I wondered whether their tiny spider brains had ever produced a thought that lead them to questions their existence, and ask, “is there more to life than weaving webs, catching flying insects, eating, reproducing, and repeating the same things over and over again until death comes-a-knockin’ at my web?” Maybe. Maybe. That’s just a thought.

I know I am not the only one whose felt as if they don’t belong, out of place, NOTW (not of this world) so to say, after all, aren’t we all human, the only animal to question the purpose of his existence?–as far as we know. Maybe others have questioned their existence, but none were as stubborn as us. Anyways, if you’ve never felt this way, or have felt this way, but only for short stretches of time, then you are one of the fortunate. Those of us who are fortunate enough find their niche at some point during their brief existence, with support along the way, support to help soften the fall in case we trip during our journey, and others, well, others never do find their niche, or have no support to confidently explore the possibilities. But, that shouldn’t stop anyone. A funny thing about existence, life, is that if any of what you’ve left behind had any worth, sooner or later, it will be discovered and properly appraised, and then their will be multitudes whose niche you would have helped build and found.

We all want to belong somewhere, and sooner or later, as long as we keep doing our thing, we may come across what we’ve been longing for, or it will come across us.

Follow your heart (as cliche as that sounds). And if you fail, well, try again. Go at it alone if you must, don’t look back. Time has a way of sorting things out for you. The important thing is to learn. Test your endurance. The human spirit is unbreakable.



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