It’s been some time since my last post, but believe me, I’ve been thinking about this post as far back as two weeks ago. So much has happened. Things are looking up, and I find myself in a much better place now. The struggles which we all undergo are only as bearable as we make them, and the human spirit can undergo a lot.
It is early morning at the moment, well, not so early I suppose. It is 8:38 am at the moment I type this sentence. So, what have I been up to?–not that you care, but I’ve been leisurely enjoying my time. I am on hiatus at the moment, and work will not commence until next month, but I have become accustomed to waking up early, and I like it. I find that I have so much more time in my hands, and that is always good, since one must never forgot that it’s a limited source.
I don’t know where to begin. The idea of this post has been floating around in my mind for some time. I kept asking myself if I should or should not discuss recent past events.
Not many know that I was technically homeless for four months–except for a few. I was living in my car. A tiny, 2015, blue Mitsubishi Mirage was my place of residence. It’s not something I was particularly proud of at the time, but it was what it was, and I am not one to cry about something so insignificant. Yes, I was homeless, but never once did that dampen my resolve to keep on attempting to progress and move past my situation, and progress was slow. Living in the car was not so bad, since I was always out and about, frequenting coffee shops and exploring my world. But the cold nights were a bitch.
I don’t know if you, my fellow reader, have read the blog entry titled, “If Happiness is Not There, Leave–You Will Be Good.” Well, the day I decided to write and post that blog, I called my minimum wage job in Las Vegas, Smart & Final–extra!, and I quit. I was done, and I knew I had to act and take control over where I would be heading next–as much as one can have. I thought deeply and realized that if I remained where I was I would continue to be unhappy. I mean, I would be able to handle the unhappiness, no problem, but if I have a choice, why would I continue to bear it? Was it really worth being unhappy? Is it ever worth being unhappy?–questions. I knew that if I continued to slave away at that dead end job, in that toxic environment, in misery, that the fire which had been burning within me would extinguish, and it is no ones duty, but our own to make sure what ever fire burns inside us to keep it going, because once that fire burns out, it may never be rekindled again. You can only imagine the despair I felt during that time in my life–or not. I was in a pickle though: I had a plan in mind, and I was ready to initiated it, but I needed support, and unfortunately for me, I lacked it. I wasn’t naive, I considered the hardships that I would have to withstand, and I was mentally prepared to live in my car if that’s what it came down to, and like I have already stated, it was what it came down to. So, for four month, a whole season, I lived in my car, parked in an uncle’s body shop where it still remains. And, if you have been keeping up with my blogs, you may be aware of what happened to that poor car on Veterans Day.
I often, well, not so often, but often enough, I stop to wonder why things happen as they do. And, as you may have concluded upon asking yourself the same questions: “they just do.” But, we are always responsible for a certain percentage of the unfortunate events that occur to us in our daily lives, about 90% of the unfortunate, and fortunate, events are due to us. The other 10% is left to uncertainties of human existence, and others. (But where did you pull out those statistics from? Just a rough approximation, still refining the numbers.)
Be thankful for what you have, and be thankful that you are living. Have a wonderful Thursday everyone.